Faith! What do people do without it??? Toben writes exactly how I felt when I went through Lanny's crisis... and I want to share...
Joanne had a stroke a month ago .... here are her husband, Toben's thoughts:
But I can also tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has provided a peace that passes understanding. Sometimes I think some people expect me to be a train wreck and that somehow I must be really stuffing it all in order to keep it together for Joanne and the girls and the family. But that's not the case. Yes, I have struggled with anxiety, fear, doubt, shock and exhaustion. I have cried, I have felt tightness in my chest like I can't breath, I have felt like I am outside my body looking in at a situation that is so bad that it can't possibly be real. But there is a peace there too and I know that it can only be coming from one place, because I know for a fact that I would be that train wreck without my relationship with Jesus.
A dear friend of mine when through an equally difficult time over a year ago and I remember him saying that it was so bad, he probably wouldn't have lived through it if it weren't for his faith. Now I know exactly what he means. The pain is too much to bear without faith. Simple as that.
I know that faith. I know that peace. I remember when Lanny was in crisis... my mom told me she was so proud of me... but I knew the praise went to Jesus! For those that don't know... in the summer of 2007... Lanny had a heart attack (which we didn't know he was having until I drove him into the hospital.. and he still denied). He was in the hospital 3 weeks. He had 2 more heart attacks in the hospital and one was having more on his way to his final surgery. They tried stints 3 times which all failed. They thought about drilling and breaking the stint they put in that wasn't working... but then it could go to the brain and cause a stroke or kill him. They were giving him heperin which they found out he was allergic to after a week and his platelet count went so low he almost died! Each heart attack he could have almost died! So they did bypass... his heart was so angry they thought he wouldn't make it.
He went through sooooo much. As his wife and soulmate... so did I. God was with Lanny. God was with me. If you know how emotional I can get... it is a true miracle!!! But God!!!! If it wasn't for my faith in Him and His care.... I don't think I could have handled it all. So this morning I am so thankful for my faith and praise Him!!!!
For more on Joanne's blog... please pray!
http://thesimplewife.typepad.com/
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